So I have a question for everyone. We were at a friends house for dinner tonight and we got to talking. About chemistry in a marriage, and a question came up. How would you feel and what would you do if your spouse packed on a good 30-40 extra pounds? Attractiveness in your own spouse has kind of gotta exist in a healthy relationship, what do you think?
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Yeah I think you have to be attracted to your spouse for sure! I sometimes wonder how my husband is still attracted to me after 3 kids and quite the weight gain!! So he must not care what I look like but I care what he looks like. He's hasn't gained a pound since we got married. He's always been the broad shoulder, football player guy who can lift anything by himself. He could loose some belly jelly but who am I to say....
It depends on the pre-30-40 weight. Some people would be just fine and others well...
Speaking for myself, I have gained a lot since we first got married, so sometimes a little extra weight isn't a deal breaker...at least I hope not.:)
I think attraction is important, but I don't think that weight gain - unless super significant plays a roll in that. For Jim - he is 6'4" so 30 pounds wouldn't make much of a difference...maybe 50 or 60 would, but I think that a marriage is much deeper than physical appearance...at least I hope so! Looks fade with time, so you better love your spouse for who they are rather than for what they look like. Even if Jim gained lots of weight I would still love him and still be attracted to him. But...I also think that maintaining a healthy body and taking care of yourself is part of that love for you spouse. Not only does significant weight gain change your appearance, it hurts your health - and you should want to be around as long as possible for your spouse.
I ramble a lot, sorry - but bottom line I don't think 30 or 40 pounds would matter But I agree wiht the GOodman family - much depends on the pre-weight)
Ooooh, good question!
I would love (LOVE) for Dizzle to gain some weight. I'm the only one in the house with any body fat (besides Harv, of course), and that gets old. To be honest, I don't know how I'd feel if he ever actually got fat (which I know won't happen). Never having seen a fat man naked, I'm not sure how unattractive it is. :-)
My weight has fluctuated like crazy while we've been married (I'm now about the same size I was at our wedding). Dizzle wasn't a big fan of my super-skinny phase, and didn't say much about my super-chubby phase. He still seemed to want to see me naked, either way.
Ultimately, I do think it's important for there to be physical attraction, but a little extra chub doesn't seem to turn Dizzle or me off. Huh.
I have a lot to say regarding this topic!! lol When we got married, I was 115 lbs, when I got pregnant 3 years later with Sophia I was
122 lbs. I gained 50 lbs with her. All I have to say is that after that,I never dropped below 145/150 and I am currently 170 with 2.5 months left of pregnancy!!! AHHHH, Yes, after this baby, I will probably need to loose around 70 POUNDS, and it does NOT come off easy. I really could go on and on about this.....lol
I am definately not happy with the way I look and I know it affects John but not because he cares so much but because I do. I don't always feel comfortable with myself and I really want to be back to how I use to be. I don't think its a deal breaker either like MK said, but I know from my experience I want to loose it not only for my spouse but for ME too :)
haha sorry for the long rant and rave, It's just a big issue for me! Some people don'y change that much with an extra 30 pounds but I did! I can send you before and after pics if you want!!
I think chemistry comes from more than just physical looks so if you have that deeper connection I don't think it's an issue. Unless you gain all 30-40lbs in one arm or something than I would have to rethink things!!HEHE!!
I left highschool ten years years ago. I guess my questions is what defines you? Weight, clothes, car you drive, how much money you make, what other people think?
The bod is important, I have to agree. But it's not the most important. I think guys don't mind a bigger woman because then the breastesses are bigger. But if there was a substantial difference with Chad from the time we met, I would have to admit it would be a bit of a turn off.
I appreciate everyone's honesty. Thanks for puttin' in your two cents.
I totally missed this post till I saw your clarification post, so I had to come back and read what was stirrin' the pot. Have to say that since we have gained approximately 120 pounds combined since we met 15 years ago it's a good thing we don't care much about looks. I love Mike a hundred times more more today than 15 years ago, and I believe it's the same for him, so I guess it hasn't affected us too much. And the lovin'? Mmmmmmmm... boy! :D
At the beginnings of our initial attraction was a lot of physical activity. We did a lot of running, hiking, biking, etc. in our courting phase. When Dylan gained a lot of weight from his sedentary job in Portland, he just wasn't as fun. He didn't want to do those things so much. And, yeah, it was upsetting and unattractive.
We've both made and maintained fitness goals and are once again enjoying those hikes and bikes that help us love each other on that deeper level.
Let's get physical, physical....
Post a Comment